Kyra Sedgwick, star of television drama "The Closer," announced Tuesday that she would be putting her acting career on hold in order to slow down, reexamine her priorities, and eat some babies.
"I've been working so much lately," the actress said. "I just haven't had any time for my family or any of my hobbies, like woodwork and hungry infanticide."
Sedgwick, who played the insignificant female costar in The Game Plan with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, looks forward to spending more time with husband Kevin Bacon, running in the park with dog Minnie, and devouring small children.
"I really miss that fresh air, and you can't really take it in when you've got all these commitments on your shoulders," Sedgwick explained. "And there's no better feeling than snapping a dead infant's soft neck open for some fresh marrow and knowing you don't have to be anywhere in the morning."
Sedgwick couldn't say how long the hiatus would last, but hopes to return soon.
"I'm excited to come back to work, but I want to be a part of my children's lives before their childhoods are over. For now I'm just going to focus on Travis and Suzie," Sedgwick said, "and digging through inner-city dumpsters for aborted fetuses and abandoned infants."
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