Thursday, November 14, 2013

Politics, jokes and ideas, oh my! (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH opinion column)

What's in a joke? An obligatory Shakespeare reference with any other noun would be just as cliche, overused and meaningless.

Dead linguistic tropes aside, it's still a good question. Humor is ubiquitous, and what with identity politics, bigotry and whatnot, it can get heated. We use "joke" to refer to anything and everything that might produce laughter or polite chuckles, so contents may vary -- but we can pick out the basics.

1. The punch line is where the funny is, whether it's intentional, bloody, accidental or just really not that funny when you finally say it aloud.

2. The setup creates the proper conditions for the funny, but -- and this is key -- the setup is not funny. The "funny," as such, is entirely exterior to the setup.

3. The last major feature of a joke is what we call "the butt." Not every joke has a butt, not all butts are created equal and it's not always clear what is or isn't actually a butt in particular circumstances, but let's put that on the back burner for a moment.

Bigger question: What do jokes do? Are they just meaningless, self-gratifying ends unto themselves, like masturbation or poetry? Self-deployed instruments of ideology for expressing and enforcing cultural mores? Crude interpersonal devices for forming self-contained social groups, marking boundaries of inclusion and exclusion with odd sociological phenomena we might call "inside jokes"?

Or maybe they're just defense mechanisms for coping with the low-budget Adam Sandler film we call human existence -- what's the point? They're all of these things at one point or another, but there's more.

Jokes are made up of information -- messages of a sort, made graspable by the easy, silly format that tells you how to deliver and receive the information. We laugh if the info meets expectations (Ralphie in second period is a sissy), and we laugh if it's new to us (a truck driver in Utah ate a badger).

If you can avoid being creepy, try watching elementary school kids at play -- human interaction rarely gets more elemental and uninhibited (even keggers have more normative social constraints).

Let's face it: Kids aren't given much help in the way of understanding the world. Parents help and kids ask questions, but there's only so much time in the day -- and the world is a fairly complex place (I'm still getting the hang of herbology myself). Jokes are the tools through which kids, (and everybody else), build an understanding of the world. It lets us play with the signifiers that make up our society, throwing them around and trying them on, breaking them down from every angle.

This can go wrong, of course, and in any given humor-producing social bubble, the lack of certain key concepts can skew or stunt the growth of the whole. Case in point: sheltered bigotry, etc.

But the solution here, then, is not to limit or censor humor. What you do -- the only practical, effective thing you *can* do -- is write some jokes and add to the discussion.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/11/politics-jokes-and-ideas-oh-my

Monday, November 4, 2013

Violence: how does it work? Also cats (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH Opinion column)

I used to live with a cat.

His name is Simba, but I called him Cat for simplicity's sake. That was the role he played in my life, so it seemed silly to call him anything else.

Our relationship was mostly a healthy one. I'd pet him, he'd paw me in the face -- it wasn't my job to feed him or clean his poop-box, so to me he was just a furry, naked roommate who rubbed his butt on the couch and wasn't allowed to leave the house.

But life gets crazy and tense, and cats get annoying.

Sometimes it'd start with biting or clawing me as I waved colorful things in his face -- he was just playing, and I knew that -- but before I knew what was happening, I'd smacked him upside the head.

And sometimes I didn't even need that much provocation. Sleep deprivation and high levels of stress mean low pain tolerance and jumpy as hell. There were mornings when all it would take for me to fly off the handle was the slightest interruption.

He'd jump and tap me on the back like a toddler starting a game of tag and I'd hurl the closest notebook at him. He'd approach me, all of a sudden asking for attention, and instantly I'd retaliate -- pushing him away or gesturing violently until he'd leave me alone.

It's easy to dismiss -- he was never visibly injured or obviously afraid of me, but I knew I was doing something both wrong and irrational. And after hitting him, I'd immediately regret it.

Of course honest remorse doesn't excuse abusing another living, feeling animal. And earnestly repenting didn't stop me from doing it again.

But why? In no other situation am I anything that could be considered an angry or aggressive person. With Cat, however, I'd lash out without provocation or restraint.

Why? Because I can. I'm allowed to. Because my brain must know without my conscious go-ahead that there is nothing and no one to stop me.

I respect Cat as a fellow creature, equal to me in abstract terms; I even feel love for him; but I know he is weak, wholly in my power, a cuddly whipping boy on which to take out my momentary rage. I like play time with Cat, but this is not play time. Like the domineering older brother, I alone decide when it's play time.

That is a problem. I'm working through it, but let's leave my personal character out of the question for now. I might just be deflecting, but what's more concerning to me is what this implies about violence in general.

I can't help but wonder how this particular power dynamic must be replicated elsewhere. How much violence between siblings, spouses and nations must arise simply from this sense of control, this sense that one can act without fear of retribution?



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/10/violence-how-does-it-work-also-cats

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Seattle Styles Find Fans at the 506 (Chapelboro music review)

My favorite thing about concerts in small venues (and simultaneously my least favorite thing) is that awkward semi-circle of vacant space that sometimes materializes in front of the stage. It's like a bubble of audience hesitation, a buffer that persists until the opening band is finished wooing--although sometimes it isn't until the next band comes on that people have started to get over themselves.

It's up to the band--the dominant actor in this particular culturally-structured relationship--to put the audience at ease, smile, demonstrate an interest in how the audience is feeling, and maybe pick up the bill for dinner. An effective band can quickly build that sort of intimacy, drawing the audience closer in spite of themselves, provoking them into holding up their end of the social bargain--by which I mean cheering, for Christ's sake.

Then that uncomfortable void of fans and participation, left open as if everyone in the bar is waiting for the "real" fans to get there, finally fills in, thus creating space for something one might call "enthusiasm" to begin to take shape.

It's even worse when the "real fans" really are few, and the fans serving as crude substitutes all happen to be students here for a graded assignment. But I guess that's the college town curse?

It's Sunday Oct. 20th, and Local 506 is swarming with students coyly tapping their feet. The bartender eyes my ID warily, graciously nodding and letting her guard down once she decides it's trustworthy, mentally sorting me into the "in crowd," as opposed to the underage liabilities most of the bar is crowded with. The overpriced PBR tallboy isn't worth it, but it feels good to be trusted.

The lead singer of the Mercators, the first band of the night, is understandably bitter about the crowd. "I'm looking forward to the next two bands, as I'm sure you are," he says in a desperate attempt to fill silence between songs, which comes off as a sad attempt at angry irony. He glances quickly out into the crowd, searching for a hint of participatory feeling to grasp onto--several students look down as if to avoid his glare, dutifully scribbling observations onto notepads.

The Mercators are a straightforward, no-frills rock band from Durham, and they manage to put on a fine show. Perhaps they could've coaxed a slightly less studious audience out of its collective shell? Who knows? But it's Seattle-based psych rock band Rose Windows that really gets the crowd rolling--the 30-minute sound check somehow works to get everyone amped up and expectant, but on its face it still seems like a risky venture.

With all of eight band members on stage, however, I suppose a 30-minute sound check might be worth it. Rose Windows, once they finally get going, really get going. With their eerily layered harmonies, spastic instrumentation and creepy lyrics and attitude, their music takes you in like a '60s acid trip laced with hard rock rhythms and distorted bass guitar.

And after nearly an hour of coasting on Rose Windows' edgy melodies like a hippie trapped in a groovy industrial age, the final band takes the stage. The Moondoggies are another Seattle band, but stylistically they come from a far different place than Rose Windows. A colder one. Probably with mountains, too.

If Rose Windows are behind closed doors, sampling mind-altering substances and penning high-minded, introspective lyrics, the Moondoggies are piling in a van and coming down from snow-capped mountains, writing words on the run and building a sound out of what they found in the trunk--namely, fire tinder and two-by-fours of modern folk and electric blues.

But the weirdest part is that the Moondoggies and Rose Windows, despite the different paths taken, somehow get to the same place. It's clear from their sounds and attitudes that they come out of the same scene, which just gives the listeners some interesting extra context to consider as they're enjoying the distinct flavors.



http://chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/seattle-styles-find-fans-at-the-506/

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Taking Stock of Shakori (Chapelboro music review)

How on earth are you supposed to communicate an experience with writing anyway? In a neat list of events, chronologically ordered? In one-word sentences and eclectic artsy sentence fragments? In a rapid series of photo captions and hash tags? Personally, I prefer the anecdote.

We were looking for a fire to warm ourselves on Friday, the first night I spent at Shakori, when we stumbled upon what we thought must have been the community fire pit we'd heard so much about -- I've never been good at reading maps.

We lay down our blanket and settled in, immediately welcomed by the variety of people already around the fire. We casually chatted with a neighbor about the bands we'd heard that day and his future career working with alternative energy sources (after getting his foot in the door of the industry by way of the nuclear sector, naturally), and just generally enjoyed the fire, their company and the oddly Halloween-y decorations in the trees all around us.

After an hour of chips and salsa and an extensive late-night meal of potato soup served in Solo cups (all courtesy of our friends at the fire), we went back to our tent to get some sleep, despite the loudly roving packs of teenagers wandering and the bands of baby boomers playing Creedence Clearwater Revival covers at all hours of night. But it wasn't until we started settling in for the night that we realized we'd just inserted ourselves into a random family's fire circle -- the shared fire pit was on the whole other side of the festival.

Like many families at the Shakori Hills GrassRoots Festival, they've been going for years. For many young adults there, they are simply carrying on a tradition they've participated in since childhood. For them, Shakori and its semi-annual music festivals represent more than a chance to soak up some music and finally get some use out of your coozies -- it's a piece of their childhood.

That's the most striking thing about the festival: the shockingly wide range of ages and demographics. From kids climbing on train cars and getting their faces painted, to elderly hippies dancing in nothing but oversized overalls, there's something for everyone. (And sometimes a little too much.)

All I wanted to do was wander through and around and soak it all in. I'd settle in at the porch of the Coffee Barn, sipping some wonderful caffeine (of Larry's Beans, the Larry of which dropped in and actually did some roasting workshops over the weekend sa well), and then I'd just enjoy the drizzle and my neighbors' conversation.

I drifted by the poetry slam in progress and the festival-goers gathering in the meditative Peace Park, all the while letting the music mix and clash in the air. All at once I'd hear the drum circle back behind me, further into the woods, I'd hear something slow and brassy coming softly through the trees from the main stage, and I'd catch a funky blues riff on guitar or a long mandolin run soaring through the air from the field upwind. All those elements and more, countless characters all chatting and jamming on their respective styles and instruments, all blended together around and for me. Then I'd separate them and pick one to trace, like one chain of dazzling lights among many, tangled in a monstrous, lit-up ball of hectic seasonal tradition.

All that color, all that commotion, all that personality. It's a bit overwhelming, but it's something special.

The next Shakori Hills GrassRoots Festival of Music & Dance will be in April. Healthy traditions in progress are like sturdy old trains in motion: they're oddly majestic and nostalgic to watch roll by, but nothing compares to the feel of being on board yourself. Everything seems so much less finite when your only angle is from the inside out -- and I wouldn't have it any other way.



www.chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/taking-stock-of-shakori/

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Step back from the plate (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH opinion column)

 Rest assured, your mom meant well. But she might have been unwittingly throwing you into a self-destructive path to compulsive overeating. But hey! No harm, no foul -- only diabetes, heart disease and high cholesterol, right?

I'm exaggerating, but what's a little hyperbole among friends? Maybe I should explain before I start throwing punches, accusations and yo' mama jokes. Well, here we go:

Overeating is like having to fire somebody. When you first try it out, it sucks. It's gut-wrenching, time slows down, you start to tear up a little and you wish you could take everything back because what are they going to do now? Your stomach and your employee's adorable children all cry out for mercy, but you have to do it -- otherwise you don't get dessert.

After a few more times through, it gets easier. You gradually grow numb to the desperate, helpless whining of your unsettled stomach/suddenly unemployed underling. Enough gorging yourself or corporate downsizing and you'll stop feeling even the slightest twinge of guilt or bloated nausea. You even start enjoying it.

Allow me to illustrate: Once upon a time I was in Spain, living with a wonderfully grumpy lady who liked to make fun of my Spanish and regularly scold me for the way I dressed myself.

But when she wasn't busy making my study-abroad experience the amazing, life-changing, paradigm-rattling, blah yadda blah, multiculturalism, etc. experience that it was, she liked to make me and my roommates enormous meals of ham and/or mayonnaise and/or olive oil. (Spanish national diet in a greasy nutshell. Drenched in gazpacho.)

Naturally, she stuffed us like burritos -- which is odd, because few people in Spain even know what a burrito is. At first I was acutely aware of my appetite, wincing with every superfluous spoonful of lentils and fried pork I shoveled down my convulsive oropharynx, anxiously attempting to act with some semblance of courtesy for my host mother. (She really was great, I promise.)

It got easier later on, but I realized something had changed inside me once I left Spain and returned to the land of more reasonable portion sizes. (France. Not America by any means.)

Conditioned to turn off my satiation signals like silencing a phone, I found myself overeating by default. I would try to listen to my appetite and gauge my hunger, but it was like looking for gelatin in a ball pit -- by which I mean challenging, and a far bit more slimy and queasy than a needle in a haystack.

I've worked hard to strengthen that instinct again since, but I can't shake the feeling that training our children from birth to ignore these sorts of messages from their bodies might be a bad idea.

It's also funny that we manage to use global poverty ("There are children starving in Africa/Asia/the streets of any major city") to help inculcate bad eating habits and lay the lipidous groundwork for later binge eating and obesity.

But maybe funny isn't the right word.




http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/10/step-back-from-the-plate

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Call me crazy, but then what? (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH column)

So we as a society see someone do something crazy, right? Crazy here meaning demonstrably irrational -- something we can't imagine ourselves doing, be it climbing a water tower, whispering madly to oneself about gophers, wearing clashing plaids or mass murder.

"Well, that's insane," we say to ourselves. "Totally senseless." We call it "crazy," and that's descriptive. It describes how alien the action is to us.

Then we look at the particular perpetrator of this act, and as with the act, we attempt to understand them -- not so much a conscious thing, but more of an automatic reaction where our brain sees something new and instinctively tries to wrap itself around it like white blood cells digesting a bacterial infection.

Failing to understand this person, we call him or her crazy. This is also descriptive -- we're noting that this particular person is in the habit of doing things we find to be eccentric, unnerving or horrifying in a conventional, logical or moral sense.

Here's where it gets tricky. Having bracketed off the actor and actions as "loony," our brain can simply stop trying to understand them. And then suddenly, "crazy" becomes more than descriptive. Now it's an explanation.

Now the "crazy" of the person is the reason and the origin of the "crazy" actions that we've been failing to comprehend. What'd they do? Oh my God, that's insane. Why'd they do it? Oh my God, it's because they're insane -- case closed, that's all there is to it.

This is misleading for a number of reasons. Also dangerous.

Up until now we've been using the word only to diagnose people and actions in terms of our particular view of the world. But this "crazy" can be easily conflated with the "crazy" that implies a professional medical diagnosis, which brings with it a greater sense of legitimacy.

But we might as well confuse the anecdotal and the medical crazies for now, because they're both a part of the same big fallacy.

We're assuming this irrational person is a closed system -- a little line segment of insanity unto itself that shares absolutely no points with any other ray, line or quadrilateral of earthly existence or humanity.

We can't even be parallel to the crazy line, because that would imply some sort of common trajectory, which is ridiculous because they're crazy and I don't know why.

And equipping ourselves with fancy medical terminology that attempts to do more than describe the crazy only perpetuates this problem. Oh, they have a disease -- chemicals in their brain made them do it.

But chemicals in our brain are responsible for everything we do. Every time I get angry you could simply ignore any of the possible causes of my anger and blame the chemicals in my brain -- and you'd be right!

But you'd be missing something. And it'd probably just make me angrier.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/09/col-0919

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Go home America, you're drunk (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH Column)

Title credits fade. We open on a wide shot, panning across the bloody, urban desert. America is a rogue cop, fed up with the bureaucratic nonsense and moral decay of modern society. He hits the streets like a medieval cowboy, cruising through today's international wasteland, dealing out his own blend of backwoods, home-distillery justice. Vigilante justice, that is.

So look out Lex Luthor; watch out al-Assad, because when grizzled ex-detective America comes back out of retirement, no one is safe from his hairy, irrational bravado.

But wait! "Rogue cop" feels far too 20th century -- and a little too straightforward as far as moral logic is concerned. That's obviously America for some, but I'm not satisfied yet. Let's try that again.

America is a superhero (global superpower, right?). But not one of those infallible and covertly jingoistic heroes like Captain America or Superman -- although there's definitely something of America in both of them.

No, America is one of those morally ambiguous heroes, like Batman, the Punisher, the Boondock Saints or someone from the "Watchmen." (And who watches the Watchmen? Certainly not the U.N.)

But letting America be Batman is giving the nation far too much credit. Clever and resourceful? Maybe. Ignorant of laws and customs, here and abroad? Well, yeah. Vengeful and affluent? Most definitely.

But Batman is at least aware of his collateral damage -- not to mention subtle (don't make me laugh, CIA). He has the foresight to understand that his actions have consequences, and that people he hurts might get angry and try to hurt him back.

And then there's that not insignificant ethical factor about Batman's aversion to guns and murder. I can't think of many superheroes who'd feel all right with bombing the biological daylights out of Baghdad or indiscriminately killing with assault drones.

America is a caped crusader, fighting for principles more essential and basic than any codified set of "laws." It's funny though that "caped crusader" has "crusade" built right in, which is pretty much modern shorthand for "severely misplaced fervor based on a sense of one's own cultural or national superiority, easily giving rise to violent irrationality."

I should be clear: These are Americas of the past (I hope). Bruce Wayne isn't that bad a guy! And I'm not saying vigilante justice is always inherently wrong. (Lord knows we might've used some in Rwanda.)

But America the Exceptional is that crusty old vigilante who keeps dramatically faking his death just to unexpectedly and "reluctantly" come out of retirement again -- as soon as another foolish young cop or endangered nation-state comes along to draw him out of the manor and into the street of extralegal intervention one more time.

So let's get out of that manor on the hill and find a different route. We can participate in some round-table discussions and make Gotham a little brighter. But let's put away that cape and cowl for good.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/09/col-0905

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Let's all go play spot the zebra (Cries from the Peanut Gallery DTH column)

On lazy afternoons, when I get bored of worrying about the future or forgetting to plan for it, I like to wander down lists of published scientific studies, just waiting until I'm surprised. I recommend it!

Of course a lot of them are just common sense. Do we really need science to confirm for us that confidence is attractive or peer pressure is effective? And that chocolate makes people happy? Well duh, that's why we eat it.

It's the surprise that's important. I want the weird ones that make me immediately skeptical or confused. I want the ones that come barreling in out of nowhere, making my interpretive schemata do a somersaulting belly flop in my prefrontal cortex.

Did you know ADHD in children has been linked to obesity later on? Also, crazy and creative people have eerily similar brains, and whiskey can be good for you! And by the way, every rise and fall of violent crime in the last half-century has been closely and strongly linked to changing rates of childhood lead exposure.

You see, as I'm learning, I don't want my new facts to just fit happily in with my view of the world like a toy poodle poking his head out of a pillowcase. I want to see them rip into my self-contained ideological paradigm like a dachshund trying to dig candy out of a Christmas stocking.

As humans, we're really good at interpreting everything in a way that conveniently leaves all our basic assumptions and prejudices intact.

Our worldviews come equipped with dense turtle shells for shielding themselves, for weathering the storm of new ideas. We're replete with defense mechanisms like a wealthy family in the suburbs, using fiberglass and cotton to insulate ourselves against different or contrary ways of thinking.

So exposing yourself to different ways of thinking is just a way of stretching and stress-testing your too-comfortable worldview. You can look up studies online or just find someone to debate with -- preferably someone you angrily disagree with.

(If your first instinct after they voice their opinion is to punch them, then it's going to be a productive discussion, assuming you don't punch them.)

It's like I'm taking my confirmation bias out for a walk. It nods a lot, shakes its head and tuts-tuts disparagingly, pees on a mailbox once or twice and then yips and drags me forward if it catches a whiff of anything about mental health or international terrorism.

Every now and then, however, a zebra nosedives out of the woods and gives my perspectival mutt the scare of its life.

Or what looked originally like a sedentary neighbor charges up and bites its tail off, and I'm left trying to patch up a bloody stump on my conceptual understanding of human society.

But it heals fast, and I'm better for it. And it's good for the heart! Not unlike whiskey, apparently.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/08/col-0822

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Quick Hits/Daily Dose (DTH Opinion)

Pretty boy bomber
Rolling Stone drew severe criticism with its decision to run a charmingly unkempt photo of Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its latest cover. It's touchy, I know, but isn't it a bit petty to insist we only run unflattering photos of killers? Delving into his psyche is infinitely more worthwhile than doing Kanye's again, anyway.

Boxill debacle
Emails coming to light over the weekend reveal faculty chairwoman Jan Boxill redacted the 2012 report on academic fraud explicitly to avoid NCAA repercussions. We should be over this by now, but no, there's always more. Boxill, really? Did integrity just not occur to you? You literally wrote the book on sports ethics.

Roll over for rights
North Carolina took a brave step forward in the humane fight for canine rights last week with a bill allowing police to break into locked cars to free pets left in the heat. This is huge for animal welfare and basic moral values, but it's a little concerning when lawmakers show more empathy for furry quadrupeds than poor people.

Brits bust smut
The UK's David Cameron unveiled a wide range of puritanical new policies Monday aimed at censoring online porn. If England is our mother country, does that mean we should be embarrassed when she talks about sex? Maybe we're estranged enough by this point to laugh instead of feeling humiliated by association.


Dubai adopts gold standard
Public health officials in Dubai could be putting Weight Watchers and Michelle Obama out of a job with their latest initiative.

Instead of teaching good habits or trying to make it easier for dieters to eat healthy meals, they're cutting all the fatty gimmicks and getting down to the meaty, capitalistic core: bribery.

For every kilogram (a little more than 2 pounds) participants lose, they win a gram of gold. So the government's determinedly putting its money where its mouth is when it comes to rising rates of obesity -- more than we can say for Obama and school systems across America, am I right?

But isn't this risky? Who knows what criminal element could arise from Dubai's sweaty underbelly to take advantage of the situation.

NOTED.
An enormous mobile sand dune in Tunisia is threatening Mos Espa, the birthplace of child Anakin Skywalker -- or at least the movie set from 1999.

Now the Tunisian government is acting to protect it -- because even fossils from our cultural scrap heap can be culturally significant to other nations' economies.

QUOTED.
"As we continue our journey of being a better, more relevant Taco Bell, (kids') meals and toys simply no longer make sense for us to put resources behind."

--Taco Bell, the cutting edge of modern fast food, decided Tuesday to discontinue kids' meals. But fear not! Cheese roll-ups will still be featured on the regular menu.

Keep students voting: Voter ID unfairly targets liberal demographics. (DTH editorial)


The voter ID bill in the N.C. General Assembly unjustly targets those groups that would vote against the Republicans in power -- and their restrictions for college students are particularly severe.

Making voting more complicated and inconvenient than it already is is the last thing the state should be doing.

One restriction says college IDs would not be valid identification for students at the polls, which would seriously discourage those students without N.C. driver's licenses.

A free alternative ID would be available, but the time and effort required to obtain it would keep some from voting.

Bill supporters say students should only vote in their home districts, but students invest a lot in their college towns and often live there after they graduate -- they're not just visitors.

The limits on students should be scrapped, and the General Assembly should shoot the entire bill down.

Republicans can't stave off millennial voters forever, but they're certainly trying.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/07/keep-students-voting

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Quick Hits/Daily Dose (DTH Opinion)

Immoral afternoon
State republicans held their own protest this week in response to continued Moral Monday demonstrators, called Thankful Tuesday -- so basically Thanksgiving. By which I mean full of old, outspoken white people you'd forgotten existed. It's nice to hear an opposing opinion, but my guess is they're just hired agitators.

Drop in the bucket
Cheeky pop star Justin Bieber apologized to Bill Clinton this week after a video surfaced of Bieber peeing in a mop bucket and badmouthing the former president. Clinton shrugged it off, but I'm thinking the janitor had a rougher night. The good news? TMZ finally has enough footage to make "celebrity urination" its own category.

SHARKNADO
Faced with rapidly disintegrating civil liberties, institutionalized racism and violent unrest worldwide, our only healthy reaction can be to drown ourselves in a SyFy channel original movie about a blazing whirlwind full of flying sharks wreaking bloody havoc on Los Angeles. And that's just what we did this weekend -- cope.

Rights? What rights?
Russian President Vladimir Putin recently passed a law calling for the arrest of any person openly gay or supportive of gay rights -- so you might want to tame that wardrobe if you're considering a trip. Criminalizing sexuality and opinions leaves smiles, pastels, individuality, dialogue and self-worth only so far away from restriction.


Indulge me a moment, please?
Building up spiritual treasures for yourself in the hereafter has never been easier.

For Catholic World Youth Day, Pope Francis is pardoning the people's sins -- in return for following him on Twitter. It's not a bad deal either, because how often can a simple click get you a couple of years off of your necessary time in purgatory at the end of your life?

So as part of his push to modernize the church and take advantage of social media, Francis is bringing back the indulgences that were oh-so-popular in the 15th and 16th centuries -- but with a technological wist.

Now all that's left is for a particularly Twitter-savvy Martin Luther to tap into the internet vernacular and bring this back to the people.

NOTED.
Death Valley National Park got so hot this year that park officials actually had to release a statement asking visitors to please not fry their eggs.

Apparently, hungry thrill-seekers have been frying eggs by the dozen, and now the walkways are caked with more sticky bird embryo than you can shake a stick at.

QUOTED.
"They told me the concept was to paint a picture of superheroes who protect the world."

--The dean of Thailand's top university apologized after students included Hitler on a banner of cartoon heroes. They might have gotten off easy for that one, but the Nazi salutes were a little too far.

Do away with rank: Class rank turns education into a competition (DTH editorial)

Leaders in Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools want class rank taken off student transcripts, and they should have the freedom to do it.

The State Board of Education denied their request to do so last year, but next time it should recognize the district's right to do what's best for its kids.

Emphasizing class rank encourages the wrong behaviors in high school. Trying to perform well in school is obviously important, but ranking students only causes already motivated students to be more competitive.

And high school is for exploring interests and developing skills, not competing for better GPAs.

Meanwhile, disinterested students are not going to be inspired to achieve by an empty academic ranking.

Even if they commit to themselves to academics and college admissions later in high school, their weakened class rank can unfairly jeopardize their chances in university admissions.

Other factors such as essays, extracurricular involvement, actual classes taken and leadership experience are far more important.

CHCCS should be encouraged to make this change for its kids.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/07/take-class-rank-off-the-table

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

34th Eno River Festival Brings Music, Community (Chapelboro concert review)

It's astounding how rapidly a kind of casual but close community seems to come together and just coalesce naturally around an event like the Eno River Music Festival.

I stroll in among waves of visibly different types of people, from the local residents looking only for an interesting July 4th weekend out in the woods, and the regional music-lovers who wouldn't miss a Bombadil show for anything but their own wedding, to the high school students looking for a thrill and the musicians themselves, who are generally impossible to categorize beyond the open-ended label of "musician."

But despite all the distinct demographics, the camaraderie is nearly instantaneous. Within half an hour I am fielding questions and shocked looks from small children curious about how hammocks work and sharing freshly cut watermelon with a local artist who makes what look to be chandeliers out of what look to be tires.

Shared laughs, meaningful looks, and backward glances bring strangers together, uniting to appreciate the homemade ice cream, the ukulele lessons, a particularly powerful song, or simply the awesome variety of dance moves exhibited at the front of the stage. (I mean "awesome" in a dictionary sense, of course.)

I am there Saturday July 6th, for the second day of the festival at Durham's Eno River State Park. I am surrounded by local music, local food, local art, and local people. But on top of all of that, there is a deep sense of pride.

Pride in the community and the wonderful things we're capable of -- on an instrument, in the kitchen, or with a welder -- but also a pride in the people and the park itself. The weekly Moral Monday protests at the N.C. General Assembly get a lot of shoutouts, but the stage never becomes a venue for a political stump speech or a rally; the protests are simply a community endeavor to be praised and encouraged.

And the announcements between each set make it clear: This festival is for the park and the Eno River itself. Money raised goes to the Eno River Association, and huge amounts of effort on the part of the staff and the visitors are intended to keep this festival from leaving even the slightest trace of human imposition on this natural land.

Many festival-goers, myself included, take the event as an opportunity to just explore the area for a while -- with a little musical backdrop as an added bonus. And few of the immediately local bands fail to mention at least something about their favorite places to swim or wander or picnic around the park.

This environment, the pride, and the shared experience of it all bring people together -- there is a trust and a sympathy there that was not before. And by the time I board the bus at the end of the day to shuttle back to parking, I can feel there's something different, something new between people. They know what I'm smiling about, and I know who that lady's talking about when she gushes to her neighbor, "And the drummer? I mean POW!"

This year a lack of funds led festival organizers to limit it to two days, instead of the usual three, but the great weather and attendance seem to bode well for next year's celebration.

They say you can tell a lot about a people by the state of their bathrooms. Well, "Toilet Row" speaks for itself: with its comfortably spaced port-a-potties (a cramped row of those monstrosities ranks among my vilest nightmares), straw-covered ground (to preempt the gross, ubiquitous mud that tends to surround these things), and locally-sourced hand-washing stations complete with soap-pedals (useyerfoot.com) ... actually I don't really know how to interpret all that. "They" tend to say a lot, but they're not great at explaining themselves or responding to follow-up questions.

Anyway, the state of the bathrooms was good. Impressive, even. The state of the park and the community was even better.




http://chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/34th-eno-river-festival-brings-music-community/

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Quick Hits/Daily Dose (DTH Opinion)

Golden Corral
A media hatestorm's been brewing since a brave patriot released a video last week of the way his Golden Corral deals with inspections -- by hiding all the raw meat out by the dumpster, of course. I'd be outraged, but honestly I can't be shocked anymore. I give up, dirty buffet place, I'll take all the human depravity and cold pizza you've got.

NC in decline
The New York Times published an editorial Tuesday on "The Decline of North Carolina," which is sad because it makes us sound like a dying relative or a destabilized foreign nation -- which we most decidedly are not, if our legislators have a say in it. We may be morally and socially regressive, but WE'RE AMERICAN GOSHDARNIT.

Gitmo respect?
In recognition of Ramadan, staff at Guantanamo Bay are starting to allow a few detainees to start seeing and socializing with some fellow subhuman prisoners again. Maybe the camaraderie helps make everything else bearable? My only other options for the happy thumb were Egyptian coup or plane crash, leave me alone please.

Lone Ranger racism
The Lone Ranger hit theaters and flopped like a dead buffalo this weekend, as expected. I can't speak for all of America, but the weekend after the Fourth is not when I want to be reminded of our nation's history of violence and colonial oppression -- especially when it's Johnny Depp dressed as a Comanche doing the reminding.



Pain makes for long memories
Talk about a crazy bachelor party -- nothing gives you one last sweet taste of singledom before marriage like being violently kidnapped. Oh wait, no, that's blood you taste.

For some reason a British groom's buddies decided ambushing and dragging their friend out of his car and away from his screaming fiancee was conducive to wonderful congenial memories for the future.

The jokers put him in a jumpsuit, tied him up and threw him in the car for more than 100 miles before letting him know he wasn't actually about to die, undergo torture or be affixed to some sort of human centipede.

The trauma gave him shingles and a doctor's order to stay awy from his new wife for a month, but boys will be boys, am I right?

NOTED.
President Barack Obama told a kid journalist at a state dinner that his favorite food is broccoli.

It could just be a harmless lie, but it's much more: He's teaching this kid a valuable lesson about misinformation and the modern media. You've got to be tough to not get grilled. Like vegetables. Mmm.

QUOTED.
"My dad is 63 years old, he was devastated."

--A Canadian woman went with her Lego-fanatic father to visit Legoland, but they were turned away as they didn't have a child with them. Now I know creepy wandering old men is a concern, but whatever happened to the magic, huh? 

An undemocratic state: Recent politics have given North Carolina a bad name. (DTH editorial)

Recent policies and tactics in the N.C. General Assembly have made North Carolina a subject of ridicule for the national media, and it is not without justification.

The sweeping abortion restrictions attached to a bill in the N.C. Senate last week attracted national attention for the underhanded and undemocratic maneuvers employed in trying to sneak the regulation past the public.

They affixed the restrictions late at night to a bill originally intended to combat Islamic law and labeled it the Family, Faith and Freedom Protection Act -- blatantly capitalizing on the patriotism of the week. And this week they're trying something similar.

But for Americans watching across the nation, N.C.'s legislature is just more of the same. Recent policies and practices have lumped the state in with Texas, Wisconsin and Ohio.

This trio of states has become increasingly known for regressive policies and slimy governmental practices -- especially in regards to women's rights. These are not the peers we want.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/07/an-undemocratic-state

UNC, let's keep talking: Repeated silence from UNC officials is disheartening. (DTH editorial)

With new administrators settling in last week, frustrating silence from top University officials was supposed to come to an end.

But even with the opening of a third federal investigation into sexual assault policies on campus and an unfolding P.J. Hairston scandal growing in complexity every day, the University has largely kept its mouth shut.

A statement was just made about Hairston's status more than a month after the initial arrest. It's a step in the right direction, but it said little, and the University has been completely quite about the latest federal investigation.

Regardless of what information it releases, the University should realize wrongdoings will inevitably come out int he end.

In the meantime, endless speculation is bound to spiral out of control. Stalling or being silent only bogs the University down in scandal.

If it would make the first move, then the University could control the direction these developments take -- rather than fall helplessly behind.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/07/unc-lets-get-talking

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Stay open, transparent: Folt has a chance to start a fresh, new chapter for UNC (DTH editorial)

Chancellor Carol Folt's arrival marks a significant transition for the University, and also a unique opportunity. As UNC moves forward and attempts to progress beyond recent scandals, Folt should set a new tone of transparency and accountability, both in treating their still-developing impacts and in handling similar problems in the future.

This is a pivotal time for the University as it addresses the recent stains on its record. And Folt, a veteran leader from the outside, is in the optimal position to proactively and aggressively tackle the problems at the roots of these scandals before they're ignored or forgotten.

And Folt is not the only new face in UNC's leadership. The collective base of fresh-faced University employees can and should bring light to past abuses without fear of blame or retribution.

This fresh administration has the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and set the standard for how the University will approach issues in the future. Folt can ensure that all problems that arise are thoroughly investigated and resolved with the administration's full cooperation.

Uncovering the extent of issues and their roots is always in the University's best interest, and a cooperative, constructive response when these sorts of problems first surface is better than dodging responsibility.

The former administration consistently shifted blame and slowed the release of any school records, all to avoid any substantive admission of fault. Instead of hiding behind FERPA or scapegoating a few faculty members for a greater problem at the institutional level, Folt can lead UNC in approaching every issue as a University -- rather than, for example, emphatically labeling a problem as "academic, not athletic," just to ward off deeper criticism.

Questionable academic practices in and around athletics departments represent a real, serious issue for many universities, and administrators should not shy away from it for fear of a little bad press -- not when there's an opportunity to serve as a role model for reform.

In the past, when University officials did try to address issues, they turned to expensive outside consultants for solutions, and sometimes only for confirmation that the issues indeed existed. Had administrators accepted problems immediately, instead of avoiding recognizing them until forced to by a third party, the costly hires would've been unnecessary.

The scandals are already rooted in the University community, and those most affected can speak out and help. The Sexual Assault Task Force charged with reviewing University sexual assault policies, for example, represents an earnest attempt to access these voices.

But the time it took for UNC leaders to admit a problem existed with current sexual assault policies and create the task force is embarrassing. A community-based approach to a resolution, however, is the only way to handle these sorts of issues responsibly and comprehensively.

Folt has already proven she respects and will respond to concerns of students and others in the community, exemplified when she canceled classes at Dartmouth last semester in order to encourage discussions of safety and social justice after widespread student protests.

Her position gives her the opportunity, and her record shows she's ready to take advantage of it. Transparency and accountability should be the fundamental principles moving forward.

If Folt doesn't act to change UNC's basic approach to controversy now, she'll only be setting up the University for more challenges and potential embarrassments in the future.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/07/stay-open-transparent

Quick Hits/Daily Dose (DTH Opinion)

Global raging
A massive string of serious protests have been sweeping dozens of countries around the world for the last month. Targets range from animal cruelty to government corruption, and tactics range from civil disobedience to self-immolation. If there's one thing we numerous, diverse world citizens can agree on, it's that we're pissed.

Waterlog flume
Chapel Hill and Carrboro briefly united to become one big water park Sunday, replete with extensive car-pools, wading areas and a tide pool at University Mall, not to mention a couple of downed trees  to keep things interesting. Charging admission would've been smart, too -- we've got water damage like a sickly Bulbasaur.

Independent!
Today we wave little pieces of fabric and light things on fire to commemorate the day our stubborn, complicated country with a troubled past declared itself independent from its brutish, dirty uncle of a tyrannical monarch. We're still trying 237 years later to live up to the poetry our angsty teen self came up with, but progress is progress.

NC under the table
Legislators Tuesday tacked a set of comprehensive restrictions on abortion onto a bill orginally meant to ban consideration of foreign laws in state courts. No one will think to vote against it -- because you know how dangerous foreign laws are in America, right? Looks like our xenophobia and our sexism are breeding one ugly baby.



Elderly Chinese seeking friends
Sending your kids to keep your grandparents company is a time-honored tradition, but what happens when there's no one left even remotely interested in spending time with your elders?

A new law in China aims to fix this forever by forcing adults to spend time with their parents -- lonely old people a real, nationwide concern. The law promises fines or even jail time for Chinese people who fail to visit their parents "often," but many say it's vague and not enforceable. You just can't force people to love and care for their elders.

But maybe they could hire people to do it for them? They could even build resorts where the old people could all live together and just be each other's friends! Why haven't we thought of that? Oh, right.

NOTED.
An Arizona woman crossing the border was found with an entire pound of meth hidden in her pelvis last week.

My first question whenever anyone gets anything surgically removed is, "How on earth did it get there in the first place?" But I can honestly say I have zero interest in hearing the mechanics of this situation.

QUOTED.
"Full-figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic -- you embody our perfect spokesperson."

--Porn company PureMature.com offered disgraced chef Paula Deen a six-figure endorsement deal -- no nudity. Only in porn are your beliefs truly irrelevant -- as long as you've got Deen's chops.


Friday, June 28, 2013

Instructions for finding yourself (DTH Column Mail Home Edition)

One: Open your eyes, look down and verify existence of limbs. Now assess yourself: Count parts, lumps and features. Consider what is and isn't there. These are your limitations -- forget them.

I'm kidding, but please do.

Two: Locate an atlas.

I'm kidding. Use Google Maps. The effort and design that give print media like atlases and encyclopedias their air of confident authority are the same shortcomings that leave them hopelessly outdated. Big British-y names in bold print and astounding numbers of editions don't mean anything except that a bunch of old white dudes got together and agreed.

Kidding -- Google maps is notoriously unreliable.

Three: Take the atlas back out of the trash can and read the biggest print on the cover. Where are you, and what does that make you? Then find the publishing information. Who makes the objects, gadgets and atlases around you, and how has that made you? Where are they?

I'm kidding, of course. Rand McNally is based in Illinois, and they couldn't care less how you live your life. Throw the atlas away again please.

Four: Try everything until you find something you're truly passionate about, something that makes you forget not just what time it is but that there is even a thing called time that you should be keeping up with. Something that holds your attention so deeply you're unconscious of everything else there is to do and be done.

Nope, kidding. Passion is important but you have to tame it. Keep trying new things, and more importantly, never lose sight of the world around you. You are inevitably involved in and with much more than yourself, and as such you are responsible for your actions and effects far beyond what you know.

Five: Find people who let you be yourself. See who you become when you just throw yourself into relationships, unburdened by your compiled social past. Then find like-minded individuals to share experiences with.

Scratch that. Don't find people like yourself -- find people you want to be, and then surpass them.

Kidding, again. How do you know the person you want to be is anything like the you you'll be looking for when you've had a little more time to look? As long as you're spending time with people, you're doing something right.

And for everyone you meet, stop and try to mentally calculate just how many lucky breaks, unfortunate accidents and biological variations separate them from you. How could you have been them, but why are you now you?

Six: This list is predicated on a false premise. Forget everything I've said. You are not finding yourself but building, building with every person you meet, every risk you take, every word you write, every world you explore.

What you do creates who you will be.

I'm kidding, naturally. Just try to have fun.



http://www.scribd.com/doc/150574744/Mail-Home-Edition-for-New-Students

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Quick Hits/Daily Dose (DTH opinion)

Get up, stand up
Texas Sen. Wendy Davis (D-Fort Worth) spoke before her state Senate for a nearly 11-hour filibuster Tuesday night to block comprehensive restrictions on abortion in the state. Not only did she stop the bill in its tracks, but Davis energized the progressive base and shot to national prominence literally overnight. All in a day's work?


Turnin' back the clock
The Supreme Court struck down a section of one of the most famous pieces of civil rights legislation in the 20th century Tuesday on the grounds that the South is no longer racist enough to be overly concerned about. Something tells me we might be getting ahead of ourselves? Paula Deen's generation is a rather vocal one.

The odd couple
As of Wednesday, American fugitive and whistle-blower Edward Snowden was still hiding in a Russian airport. Which, incidentally, is where P.J. Hairston will be in a little more than a week -- looks like all my heroes are going to be in one place! Too bad they're both facing criminal charges, but we'll be fine if the Russians just play it cool.


Paula pays piper
Celebrity chef Paula Deen published a series of YouTube apologies last week regarding her use of racial slurs and allegations of sexism and racism in her restaurant chain. She seemed genuinely sorry about the pain she'd caused -- I almost felt bad. But now is one hell of a convenient time for her to develop some empathy.






Pot-bellied pigs, but actually
If you thought grass-fed meat was already popular, just wait.

A pig rancher in Seattle has started using leftover stems, leaves and seeds from a marijuana dispensary to feed his animals.

Customers in blind taste tests say it gives the pork a "more savory" flavor, and a "marbled, fattier texture," but that might be due more to the drug's effects on the pigs, rather than the drugs themselves.

The drug-fed pigs gained weight 20 percent faster than the straight-edge ones, but not for the reasons you might expect. They don't eat extra food, but they spend most of their time lying around, barely lifting their heads. Some may think that's inhumane, but it just sounds like freshman year to me. Maybe the pigs like it? I'd just worry about their GPAs.

NOTED.
New research suggests dogs form bonds and respond to their owners much the same way babies do with parents.

They're just fuzzy infants who chew things and never grow out of the wild pooping stage, right? Of course, if we gave our babies rawhide bones and let them go on the lawn, they probably would.

QUOTED.
"What's north of north? Nothing."

--Sources close to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian say the newborn North West was named not to pun on the fabled sea route that inspired centuries of exploration, but because she is a high point for the couple ... But I get a feeling spatial orientation will be the least of her worries.

Address past injustice: Don't rush to celebrate progress on Rogers Road (DTH editorial)


Headlines cheering steps forward in redressing 40-year-old wrongs on Rogers Road are getting ahead of themselves.

It's been nearly 41 years since local governments promised that community a sewer line. And even if plans fo the new line proceed without further setbacks, it will likely be 2015 before work begins.

The landfill, which is only now about to close, stayed open 30 years longer than the historically black and low-income neighborhood was originally told. And residents say they're experiencing negative health effects from the landfill and contaminated well water.

Our failure to make good on our promises is embarrassing, and our sluggish response to health concerns is simply indefensible.

Leaders in Chapel Hill, Carrboro and Orange County should be applauded for working through the many bureaucratic obstructions that make this project so complicated. And the sewer line plans on the table are a good step forward. But nothing should be celebrated until we see material progress.

Financial issues have already limited the feasible proposals, but we need to ensure that the project in its final form truly helps the neighborhood.

It would be far too easy for us to congratulate ourselves now on the little progress we can see, and then to forget our concerns and let justice again be delayed into oblivion.

There will be time to celebrate when we finally see needs being met.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/06/address-past-wrongs-on-rogers-road

Monday, June 24, 2013

Ex Cops, Reviewed at Local 506 (Chapelboro/WCHL)

It's a lazy Sunday on Franklin Street that is oddly quiet, taken up with an impressive reverent silence only interrupted by the occasional abrupt call across the street or light trickles of conversation from patios and passers-by.

But in the Local 506, there's a different kind of space entirely. A sleek, sonorous bubble of indie pop holds a night together. Brooklyn's Ex Cops is taking a stroll through their setlist. The crowd is small -- you could call it sparse or just intimate -- but their smooth heady sound doesn't need the energy of a massive audience to make it an experience.

Anyway the show is just a stop, a tangent from their ongoing tour, scheduled to give family members in the area a chance to hear them, so the feel is already that of a casual, extra performance.

And in spite of popping mics and an underwhelming crowd of relatives and locals, the eerie vamping strum of their smooth rhythm and the earnestly bright, compact vocal harmonies are still enough to draw you out of the street and into the bubble.

Inside the bubble you're enveloped in the lulling space dream of the music, and you sink in with the cryptic, minimal lyrics and carefully distorted guitar. Weighted down with reverb, you're full but not bloated -- you've just finished a perfectly portioned, wholesome meal, but then you slide along with it as the guitar picks up and the tentative synthesizer melody trips and swoops out from the base of the tall, structured harmonies and you know someone must have slipped something in your drink along the way.

Leads Brian Harding and Amalie Bruun are the lanky, broad-shouldered core of the band, driving the harmonies and conducting the show with their off-handed, effortless urban feel, as if they've just stepped out of a Brooklyn coffee shop, cafe americanos in hand, crossing the street to the Local 506 dutifully but ever-so-slightly begrudgingly. The poppy, upbeat other three behind them, on bass, guitar, and drums, build the momentum and piece together on their own the sonic backdrop for the duo in front, who take charge, tie the aesthetic bundle together, and steer the sound onward to the listener.

Their first full-length album True Hallucinations is available for sale in various places online, and work on the second album will begin soon. The Ex Cops have been playing together since 2011, and their guitars have been repeatedly caled "jangly" ever since. Catch similar bands at the Local 506 on West Franklin all summer.


http://chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/ex-cops-reviewed-at-local-506/

Thursday, June 20, 2013

More guns, less safety: The NC legislature should not ease gun regulation. (Daily Tar Heel editorial)

The N.C. General Assembly is trying to make it even easier to buy a handgun and carry it with you, but these relaxed gun regulations would be disastrous for public safety.

A bill that could soon land on Gov. Pat McCrory's desk would allow guns in locked cars on all public school and university property, which would endanger faculty, staff and students -- including children as young as preschool age.

School public safety departments would have a harder time responding to gun crimes, especially large-scale ones.

The bill would also let people buy handguns without a permit, and background checks would no longer be necessary for private gun sales.

Some legislators argue that expanding gun access would allow legal gun owners to defend themselves more easily -- but these guns could too easily result in impulsive, spur-of-the-moment aggression.

Proliferating deadly arms allows volatile interpersonal conflicts to fatally escalate without warning.

Any increased sense of security gained by arming residents is outweighed by these risks and the challenges looser gun restrictions pose to law enforcement.

McCrory should recognize what is at stake and veto the bill before more people are needlessly put in danger.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/06/51c0d4b82148f

Quick Hits / Daily Dose (Daily Tar Heel Opinion)

Waffle House
Franklin Street will have its very own Waffle House starting Thursday morning. The shiny new interior has been visible to passers-by for weeks, and we expect it to stay that way for just about one more before everything's hidden in a thick layer of grime, syrup, chili and urine. Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe is so unthreatened it's hilarious.

An Irish tussle
The 2013 G8 Summit was held in Northern Ireland this week, marking serious progress for the region long torn apart by political and religious sectarianism. Eight of the most powerful nations in the world got together to recognize this history by endlessly bickering among themselves. But at least Putin wasn't awkward this time.

Bipartisan speeds
A bill in the N.C. House would allow the state to raise speed limits on select roads to 75 mph. It passed the Senate in April 45-1, and it's expected to roll through the House at breakneck speeds, despite the few critics desperately pumping the brakes. We're a little concerned for safety, but we're mostly just excited to see bipartisan support.

First signs of life
Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) wants to ban abortions at 15 weeks because he says he's seen male fetuses masturbating. So that's a natural male instinct, but female fetuses are prudes? Nope, no interpretive bias there! I don't know what's creepier, how long he must spend staring at sonograms, or what he thinks he sees in them.



Worming: The hot new craze
Most middle schools have more than their fair share of impressionable, gross and unabashedly horny adolescents. But now young Japanese students are putting typical teenage sexual shenanigans to shame.

Teachers were curious when they started seeing kids coming to school wearing eyepatches, which are used to hide infections, but they had no way of knowing what was really going on until they saw it in action.

The students call it "worming," or "eyeball licking," which pretty much removes any hint of subtlety or ambiguity about what exactly it is. It's just an innocent display of affection, but doctors say it puts kids at risk for problems like pinkeye or eye chlamydia. You heard me: eye chlamydia.

NOTED.
A 65-year-old woman in Seattle gave up on her attempt to live on water, air and sunlight alone after 47 days.

She says she'll never know if the pain and vomiting were a painful withdrawal from an irrational addiction to food or just slow starvation, but who's to say those aren't the same thing? Oh right, doctors.

QUOTED.
"Tired of voting for rats? Vote for a cat."

-- Sergio Chamorro of eastern Mexico nominated his cat, Morris, for local political office, inspiring a slew of other animal candidacies across Mexico. And while corruption may be less rampant here, Tina the Chicken does sound enticingly trustworthy.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The dark future of cellphone bans? (Daily Tar Heel opinion column)

As with all authoritarian, dystopian societies, this one starts with something relatively reasonable and well-meaning. The year is 2015, only two years after the town of Chapel Hill reinstates a ban on cellphone use while operating a vehicle.

Even hands-free devices like Bluetooth are recognized as the profound sources of danger and distraction they are. (Officers themselves are exempt, of course.)

Officers aren't allowed to pull cars over for cellphone use alone. But they see no change in drivers' behavior, so they're told to watch drivers with cellphones extra carefully -- and it's not hard to find an excuse to pull someone over if you want to.

Pretty soon any sort of hand-held gadget or headphones immediately puts officers on the offensive, with or without a moving violation.

Several drivers get arrested for holding food after a new Taco Bell product is mistaken for the newest iPhone model.

One driver is arrested for swerving after spilling coffee on himself, and then the powers that be realize how distracting it really is to pick up fries and dip them in ketchup without looking. Anti-consumption laws follow shortly after -- all in the name of safety.

Without anyone left at liberty to call in, radio programs suffer in quality and ratings. They slip over the edge of relevance, where they had previously been teetering like disco at the drain or Jimmy Carter in the post-Reagan era. They plummet into obsolescence and obscurity, robbing many Americans of their jobs.

With rising unemployment and consistently exorbitant gas prices, carpooling is popular again. Road safety lobbyists realize that, despite their best efforts, people are still recklessly engaging other humans in conversation. They ban conversation.

Left with no one to vent to and nothing to tame their appetites, drivers silently implode with intensely concentrated road rage. Angry accidents turn out to be more violent and thus more deadly than the normal kind, and legislators quickly act to stem the rising tide of DWIs (Driving While Irate).

A government mandate requires new cars be built with a Breathalyzer that measures rage, ensuring that cars shut off if the driver accumulates too much adrenaline or testosterone in his or her blood system.

Increased regulation and reduced speeds bring the transportation system to its knees. Material commerce is frozen, and general infrastructure as a whole begins to collapse.

Fiscal stress and societal need spur technological advancement, and the self-driving car is perfected just in time to save the global economy -- not to mention those drivers still alive and on the road.

All's well that ends well? I think not. What was I talking about again?





http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/06/51b79f9a1c346

Ineffective extremism: McCrory should reclaim his record as a moderate (Daily Tar Heel editorial)

There is no clearer evidence of the polarization of North Carolina politics than the ongoing Moral Monday protests at the General Assembly, which represent an extreme leftist reaction to an extreme legislative agenda on the right.

Gov. Pat McCrory might not be the most popular figure in some circles, but he should use his central executive position to take the lead in guiding debate toward the center of the political spectrum.

And we believe he is fully capable of doing so. The Daily Tar Heel editorial board endorsed Pat McCrory for governor last year because of his record as a moderate willing to compromise.

He has not struck a moderate path so far, but it's not too late for him to live up to this promise. He should be unafraid to distance himself from polarizing rhetoric and reprimand extremist politics. This would allow him to approach conflicts from a more moderate political position.

McCrory has already spoken strongly against the protests, mostly by echoing comments made by fellow state Republicans.

He called them unlawful and blamed them on outside agitators from other states. He emphasized solidarity with other Republican leaders in stern opposition to the protests.

But he has also shown he can be reasonable and independent from the GOP in his recent resistance to certain General Assembly initiatives and budget considerations.

McCrory openly disagreed with the way the General Assembly neglected pre-K and mental health services in its budget proposals.

In his own budget proposal, he supported the UNC-system strategic plan and compensation for victims of the state's former eugenics program -- issues other legislators ignored.

But McCrory still needs to distance himself further from the radical right, and he should at least be sympathetic to protestors' basic concerns.

Only then can he attempt to bridge the partisan divide that precludes negotiation between the two bitterly opposed sides.

Some protestors hand out bumper stickers that say, "NOT A REPUBLICAN." N.C. Sen. Thom Goolsby (R-New Hanover) publicly labeled protestors "hippies" and "the loony left."

This kind of antagonism assumes no common ground and prevents civil debate. But if McCrory fully asserts himself as an independent, authoritative executive, there is at least hope for some compromise.

If the state government can navigate tight budget troubles and economic upheaval with some degree of concern for the progressive perspective, all of North Carolina will benefit.

This editorial board supported McCrory in the hope that he would bring a balanced perspective to the governorship, and we believe he still has the capacity -- and now the responsibility -- to fulfill this expectation.





http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/06/51b7f333956df

Quick Hits / Daily Dose (Daily Tar Heel Opinion)

Oh, (Big) Brother 
The National Security Agency has been amassing personal phone and internet records since 2007. Polls show Americans disapprove, but, then again, couldn't care less. In other news, Amazon sales of "1984" rose more than 6,000 percent last week. We're not concerned about totalitarian limits to our privacy, but we'd love to read about them!

A gun for every hand
A bill in the General Assembly would allow people to buy handguns without permits. Permits would still be required for concealed guns, but the guns could be taken virtually anywhere. Because if enough people have guns, the others with guns will be afraid to act? It's like a small-scale Cold War but more impulsive and unpredictable.

Waka Flocka whoops
A 53-year-old woman in Florida ended her three-year marriage because of a Waka Flocka Flame concert. Apparently aggressive black rappers tend to bring out her ex-husband's overtly racist side? They can be a trial for any marriage, but couples who survive are stronger for it. Wait, does this mean I have to like Waka Flocka now?

Stay away team
Violence at soccer matches in Argentina has led officials to ban fans from attending their away games. But all is not lost, as fans can just go elsewhere to watch the game and fight. And in the end, you don't even need a sporting event to brutally assault someone simply for wearing a certain label or color -- oh wait that's gangs.



Merits of a French education
Finding the line between "relaxed-quirky-cool" and "sweet-Jesus-creepy" has always been a serious challenge, especially for the French men of the world.

One math teacher near Paris slipped decidedly into the latter category when he played "Saw" for his class of 11-year-olds. "This will be your first horror film," he said to his students, right before he pulled out his hacksaw and spewed blood all over everything left of their childhood.

The teacher was briefly suspended while the school investigates. But even if he's never allowed in a classroom again, his face (not to mention Jigsaw's) is assuredly written into those kids' memories as if with a steak knife. A note to future educators: torture porn is usually a no-no.

NOTED.
An overworked banker in Germany accidentally transferred a client nearly $300 million when he fell asleep at his keyboard.

Well, I hope he kept his job. Poor bankers -- they work so hard, and they're never appreciated. It's really one of those thankless jobs you have to be passionate about.

QUOTED.
"There are too many tests."

-- Gov. Pat McCrory says excessive standardized testing wastes school time. Now that's the kind of hard-hitting, insightful analysis we've needed all along! What other shocking conclusions has he come to? Education prepares kids for the future? Teachers should be paid?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Morning Brigade Plays The Station (Chapelboro concert review)

Morning Brigade is one of those bands that give you a lot to look at. They're of that rare musical breed -- the six-piece chain with no weak link -- and every spunky steel spike in this lively railroad of a band has its own energy.

On Friday at Carrboro's The Station at Southern Rail, the members of Morning Brigade played themselves out to an old train depot full of friends and locals. Save for an out-of-practice oldie or two, the band rolled through its meticulously funky and insistently catchy tunes and musical personalities without any setbacks -- casually but emphatically chugging through their set like a train under the stars of the Christmas lights strung above their heads.

Each of them knows exactly what they're doing and when, so they make a party of it on stage, orderly going through the well-rehearsed motions and having a grand old time about it. Watching drummer Nathan Spain is like watching wolf clubs fighting, they move so fast you're not sure which limbs are going where or how many ducks and licks and bites you missed in that split second, but you're just shocked there's no blood -- and if you manage to snag some eye contact with violinist Eli Howells between all his runs, riffs and grand gestures, he'll always fire back with some oddly cryptic but fittingly enthusiastic facial expression, or a knowing look about the ferocious piano breakdown about to ensue.

They have the harmonic and rhythmic precision of Mumford & Sons and a lyrical and melodical complexity approaching that of the Decemberists or Sufjan Stevens. They exercise tight control over their dynamics, like a friendly folk giant who'd accidentally crush you if he didn't so strictly rein in his funky indie swagger until the established hour for raging. It doesn't take another musician to see how central percussion is to the feel and energy of the band, but the rhythm they present doesn't just come from Spain and back-up vocalist/tambourine player/accomplished xylophonist Mary Koenig; in their own way every one of them contributes to the percussive feel.

With a six-member band, at least one musician at every show is bound to get lost, wander off and find themselves buried in the mix. But with Morning Brigade, there is enough going on and enough musical diversity in the players still represented that you have to listen carefully to notice any feeling of absence. And even with their varied styles and instruments, their sounds blend together warmly and sharply, like hot chocolate and whisky or the well-oiled record player they are.





http://chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/morning-brigade-plays-the-station/

Kids don't need cursive: Limited education resources should not be wasted. (Daily Tar Heel editorial)

Thanks to the N.C. General Assembly, the children of our state are going to leave elementary school thoroughly prepared -- for life in 19th-century America, maybe.

A bill passed last week will require schools to teach cursive writing and multiplication tables by the end of fifth grade. There has been no indication that Gov. Pat McCrory might veto it, but he should.

Despite how commonplace calculators have become, one could make a solid argument for the importance of basic mathematical skills like mental multiplication.

Mandating training in cursive, however, is a waste of time and money. And unnecessary additional requirements are the last thing state education needs after all the cuts the legislature has already recommended.

In our modern world of keyboards and texting -- where even email seems to be slowly losing relevance -- cursive writing serves no purpose. Students quickly lose these penmanship skills in middle school because they are given no reason to maintain them.

The practical purposes of cursive are dwindling. Beyond the required pledge on the SAT, the only benefit students might gain from maintaining these skills is a better personal signature or the ability to forge another's.

It might seem hypocritical to attack cursive training for not being directly practical while also supporting the liberal arts and other ventures that aren't oriented toward technical skills -- but there is a basic, fundamental difference between them.

Training in cursive consists of rote mechanical learning -- without any of the critical thinking or intellectual stimulation that comes with other "impractical" education practices.

Instead of taking even more time and money from classrooms all across the state, North Carolina should leave those resources to the educators themselves.

Standardized testing and budget constraints limit teachers enough as it is. How can we continue expecting them to fill their students with a love of learning and a sense of civic responsibility if we never stop piling on mandates and restrictions?

Cursive's historical place as a hallmark of elementary school education tells us nothing about its use or significance for us in this day and age. We should not let an antiquated sense of tradition drag down our children's education. A concern for their growth and development -- not nostalgia -- should be what ultimately guides policy.



http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/06/51aecc11bbe0b

Quick Hits / Daily Dose (Daily Tar Heel Opinion)

Dirty American pigs
A Chinese corporation last week took over the world's largest pork company (based in Virginia, of course). There's probably some significant symbolism in there about the rising East forcibly buying out our filthy consumerist lifestyle, but I can't get past "China coming for American pork," which sounds like an epic, international porno.

SCOTUS says swab
The highest court in the country ruled this week that it's legal for police to take DNA samples of anyone they arrest, even without formal charges. Do we have a right to genetic privacy? The Court says it's no different than fingerprinting, but I'd like to hear Justice Alito say that again with a police officer's hand down his throat.

Carrboro up in arms
The Carrboro mayor and half the Board of Aldermen were arrested at the General Assembly protests Monday, meaning they had enough members present to hold a fully legitimate town meeting in the drunk tank. It also means we can honestly say Carrboro is run by miscreants, but they know we mean it in a good way.

Manning the man
The trial of military whistle-blower Bradley Manning started this week, and a lot is at stake, including the future of government opacity and freedom of speech on the internet, not to mention Manning's life. But at least the authorities are being open about such important proceedings -- oh wait that's right never mind no.



Oh, to be a baby once more
Haven't you always wanted to know what was so delicious about breast milk? Babies just can't get enough of it, right?

But there was never any way to find out without being a creep, pervert, sex criminal or all of the above -- until now.

Well, the creepy part is still arguable, but at least now it's legal. A candy company has created a line of breast milk lollipops in an attempt to harness the forgotten flavor. A case of four lollipops sells for $10.

The lollipops contain no actual breast milk (they're vegan) but they were directly inspired by real breast milk provided by real mothers. So rest assured -- no matter how weird you are for wanting one of these, you're still not as creepy as the "flavor specialists" who made the formula.

NOTED.
A Kentucky ad firm has started paying men with copious facial hair to carry advertisements in their beards.

It's opened the door to a whole new world of commercialism and human billboards! I'm going to take some initiative and shoot for a guerrilla advertising deal with my armpit hair -- wish me luck.

QUOTED.
"This particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus."

-- The 68-year-old actor Michael Douglas blames oral sex for his throat cancer. Now somewhere in New Jersey a vengeful sex education teacher is waving a dental dam and saying, "I told you so."

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Remembering reform: N.C. should not neglect the mental health community. (Daily Tar Heel Editorial)

The future of the Dorothea Dix property in Raleigh -- the site of the former mental hospital -- has been the source of much aggressive debate in the General Assembly recently.

But the tone of the debate itself reveals a set of seriously scrambled priorities. No side fully respects the historical significance of the property or recognizes the needs of the mental health community.

Some legislators want all 300 acres of the property to be repurposed as a "destination park," while others think there should be space reserved for administrative offices or the property should be expanded.

Instead, the land should be returned to the Department of Health and Human Services and used for the good of the people who have been hurt the most and forgotten amidst the planning: the mentally ill of North Carolina.

When mental health advocate Dorothea Dix came to the state in 1848, the mental health care system was disorganized and defective. The government provided little effective assistance, and many of the mentally ill were in jails or out on the street. Dix brought this crisis to the attention of the General Assembly and worked tirelessly to bring about reform.

The first land was bought for the hospital in 1850, and the first patient was admitted in 1856. The hospital and its mission of care and service continued to expand over time until it reached its height in 1974. At that time, the property had 2,354 acres of land, including a farm and three lakes, and it was equipped to handle 2,756 patients.

All of the land was operated with the interests of the mental health community in mind, and the patients' recovery and well-being were the end goals.

The land has been slowly sold away since the '70s, and the hospital shut down for good last year. It would be acceptable if this simply represented a decentralization of mental health services and a carewful shift away from institutional care -- but mental health care in the state is tragically underfunded, and Dix's impact seems to be fading.

In 2010, the public mental health system only served 34 percent of adults with serious mental illnesses in North Carolina, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and it can only have gotten worse since then. The new state budget proposals would cut even more funds from an already struggling system.

To use the historic property as a tourist attraction is to fundamentally disrespect Dorothea Dix's career as a passionate reformer, teacher and humanitarian. The land, or at least the few hundred acres left, should be returned to those we can trust to uphold her legacy.


http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/05/51a54225c3e19

Quick Hits / Daily Dose (Daily Tar Heel Opinion)

Golden age of film
"Fast & Furious 6" and "The Hangover 3" led box offices to a record-breaking Memorial Day weekend. So the theater industry is alive, but real film is dead? We'll call this record a fluke, because I refuse to believe the Fast & Furious franchise is capable of breaking anything besides clunky set pieces and immutable laws of physics.

Swedish unrest
Trouble in paradise this week, as six days of fierce rioting have seen protest, rampant vandalism and burning police cars in the suburbs of Stockholm, capital of one of the happiest countries in the world. Some attribute the unrest to immigration, but most blame rising socioeconomic inequality. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

New developments
Popular comedy series Arrested Development returned from the grave Sunday with new episodes on Netflix. So grab some bananas, cornballs and martinis and go celebrate the renewed stream of losing, schmoozing and boozing with Jason Bateman and company. Because Steve Holt, that's why. LOL Netflix.

UFO irony
An American drone was reportedly shot down Tuesday by al-Qaida operatives in Somalia. Needless to say, we'll stop at nothing to rescue the brave unmanned aerial vehicle. We cannot rest while our flying assault robot is at their mercy. Just think what inhuman atrocities they could commit with...oh. I've made a huge mistake.




Ordering up a dolphin delivery
Looking for a hip new trend to latch onto for the birth of your first child? Midwives and bathtubs just not doing it for you? Forget natural -- think maritime. One North Carolina couple is going all the way to Hawaii to have their baby while swimming with dolphins in a tank.

The couple say they want to rebuild human relationships with dolphins so the two species can more peacefully coexist. But they might need to make it clear up front exactly what sort of relationship they're looking for with the dolphins -- it might be more mammal than they can handle.

Experts say a male dolphin can be extremely aggressive and violent without provocation. We just hope he's licensed.

NOTED.
A couple in Pennsylvania stabbed each other after arguing about the American Idol finale a few weeks ago.

So not only are all the judges fired, but the last two Idol fans attempt some weird group suicide. Luckily they survived, so they'll be back to see next season. You're not getting away that easy, Seacrest.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Ritter Plays Cat's for the Crowd (Chapelboro concert review)

Josh Ritter is constantly in awe. His face lights up with joy and surprise every time he can tell the audience knows his lyrics. A clever guitar lick or a well-timed entrance for the synthesized organ coming from the keyboards seems to catch Josh off guard, as if another musician, an old friend, had just  appeared on stage to make a guest appearance. And every time Josh comes out on stage, he grins in wide-eyed disbelief, somehow shocked that the audience is still there—and to see him.

Before a sold-out crowd last week at Cat's Cradle, Josh Ritter & the Royal City Band gleefully commandeered the stage and lighting system. Josh smiles and squints so hard his eyes might as well be closed, and he stays that way throughout the set. He smiles so hard sometimes he mixes up his own lyrics, and more often than not he abandons the carefully building dynamics of his master tracks in favor of bounding radiantly through each song without a care in the world.

One would be hard-pressed to find anyone who so obviously and visibly enjoys anything they do as much as Josh enjoys doing what he does. He thanks the crowd repeatedly, and he seems sincerely grateful just for their presence and their engagement. He dispels any notion of a simple, one-sided relationship between artist and audience—it's clear that the audience is not the sole beneficiary of this cultural and economic transaction.

The performance is like a conversation; Josh hopes and expects the audience to be active participants. And they are, cheering, clapping and singing along as Josh runs through his catalog of pensive, sometimes heart-wrenching Americana.

And even as Josh's smile continues, the overall tone of the show gets darker. Josh plays several songs from his newest album, "The Beast in its Tracks," which he wrote in a long, depressive period after his divorce. The energy is different—more reflective, even spiteful—and Ritter reinterprets some of his older songs to tie them into his life now. He brings the audience into his life by making his whole set a story about his struggle with the divorce. The songs go from spite, anger, and talks of a "new lover" to misery and regret to hope and optimism. With precisely organized instrumentals, elaborate, gentle wordplay, and Josh's unwavering enthusiasm, he carries the audience with him into the depths of hate and depression, and then back up to the forward-thinking positivity of hope.

Ritter certainly leaves his audience wanting more, though you can't help but wonder if he walks away just as fulfilled.






http://chapelboro.com/lifestyle/arts-entertainment/ritter-plays-cats-for-the-crowd/

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Self-conscious activism: General Assembly protestors should focus on the issues. (Daily Tar Heel Editorial)


The Moral Monday protests organized by the NAACP in Raleigh have entered their fourth week, and despite rising arrest rates, they show no signs of slowing.

The protests have been successful in getting the attention of legislators and other state residents, but activists need to plan and employ a wide range of tactics if they hope to build a lasting movement or bring about real change in the policies of the General Assembly. They must also be wary of unintentionally harming their cause as they proceed with existing tactics.

Vocal protestors and direct civil disobedience are effective for drawing press coverage, but aggressive protests and arrests can be alienating to the uninformed public.

The protestors have so far remained sympathetic and have not let their passion for reform inadvertently tarnish their image. But this is an ongoing concern. It will become even more difficult if protests continue without obvious results.

Activists need to be committed, but they can't let their anger get the better of them. The focus should always be on the issues — the harmful policies themselves.

The protestors should remain civil and rational to everyone they encounter, even the police officers who make the arrests. They should avoid actions which might give others license to demonize them or write them off as irrational radicals.

Focusing exclusively on the issues also keeps the movement from engaging too obviously with the rampant partisanship that defines the current political climate. The movement's primary goal should be to appeal to the people and tell them why their concerns affect everyone in North Carolina. Party lines alone should not be enough to stop them from reaching any particular segment of the population.

Loud demonstrations in Raleigh will not be enough to full achieve this goal. Press coverage will quickly fade if tactics begin to get old.

The N.C. Student Power Union plans to run weekend programs this summer to educate and equip potential activists throughout the state. This is a step in the right direction, but it's just a start.

Student Power and the NAACP should take advantage of the movement's energy now and prepare for the future. Their emphasis should be on spurring local involvement throughout the state and decentralizing the push for reform.

The movement should not be centered or dependent on specific leaders or protests, but on the people at large and the issues that affect them.




http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/05/519d261011860

Quick Hits (Daily Tar Heel Opinion Page)

Times are a-changin'
Young stars at Sunday's Billboard Awards like Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus got hassled for their megalomaniacal arrogance and ridiculous costumes, but Prince and Madonna took the stage with no controversy. Does this mean the old pros have finally passed the crazy-torch to the next generation of self-obsessed psychopaths?

Wiretap 'this'
The Department of Justice secretly acquired two months of phone records from the Associated Press last year, and now the entirety of journalism is pissed. It might not seem like a big deal, but to us it's as if they just murdered our sacred calf and took a year to tell us. We take privacy seriously — whenever we're not invading yours.

Tighten that belt
The N.C. Senate released its budget proposal for the next year on Sunday. We don't have to read that closely to know it's not going to be good for us. But what nonessential corners are left to cut? How high can CCI prices go before the people say, "enough"? Pretty soon we'll have to go all the way to Franklin for free toilet paper.

Snapchat?
All in all it's been a pretty tragic and horrible week for North Carolina, America and humanity. But on the bright side we've finally discovered the dazzlingly brilliant revolution in 21st century communication that is Snapchat. Expect all depressing news in the future to be delivered with a goofy sad face or a photo of our cat.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Leadership Beach Retreat (The Bell Tower, LCM newsletter May 2013)

I can't imagine a better way to end a long, stressful academic year than with a relaxing couple of days at the beach with my friends in LCM. After dozens of pages of essays and a few exams, all I wanted to do was lie on the beach and read and nap -- and the moment I got to the beach, that's exactly what I did.

Of course I can't manage to be on the beach for more than three hours without getting some odd kind of splotchy sunburn. And everyone knows the beaches of North Carolina somehow stay freezing cold until Memorial Day Weekend, when the wind magically dies down and the temperature of the water jumps 10 degrees. So spending all day on the beach isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's hard to throw a Frisbee straight when it feels like God himself is trying to cool you down like a bowl of soup, and swimming is a challenge if you can't stop shivering violently until your legs have started to numb.

Luckily, lying around and attempting to throw things in the wind were not the only things we did on the beach retreat. Actually, they weren't even the most significant part of the few days we spent there in Sunset Beach. Most of the time was spent talking about LCM and our plans for next year. We talked through the schedule of the whole first semester and got excited about all we have to do in the next year.

But arguably even more important than that was the time we simply spent as a group: walking, singing, playing, eating, and enjoying one another's company. We got to recover from the stress and exhaustion of the school year by resting and working with our good friends in LCM, and there's no better way we could've done it. And at the same time, it was a chance to say farewell to all those who we won't see until August -- every event and impromptu meeting from exam time to graduation seems to turn into some kind of goodbye. And even when we're sad about the faces we're not going to see in the fall, we know the next year is going to be great, and that LCM will continue to be strong.



http://www.holytrinitychapelhill.org/belltower.pdf

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Get rolling on reform: Sexual assault task force must fight for students' welfare. (Daily Tar Heel editorial)

University officials put together May 1 a 21-member task force to "review and enhance its policies and procedures for handling student-on-student complaints of harassment, sexual misconduct or discrimination."

The task force has been given a unique opportunity for reform, and with that comes a serious responsibility. Its members have an obligation to take the lead in calling for an overhaul in the way UNC handles complaints of sexual assault.

Their deliberations should be public. They should consider not just tweaks and minor modifications to University policy but comprehensive change.

With their influence, they could initiate a shift in policy to treat rape as the violent crime it is -- not as something to be tried and adjudicated only in an academic setting.

Current policies allow victims to pursue legal action in the criminal justice system at the same time as the academic system, but they are treated as distinct and separate processes. Universities should encourage students to involve themselves in both processes -- not substitute their own gentle, academic justice for the real thing.

The task force's opportunity is unique in that it is not constrained by politics. Its membership includes a wide range of voices and perspectives -- including faculty, community members, students, administrators and even law enforcement officials -- and many members have experience working directly with sexual assault issues.

Their independence and expertise give them authority, and they should use that to its maximum potential.

While issues will be inevitably contentious and complex, some should require very little debate. The force is joining an ongoing discussion -- not starting from scratch. There is no reason to wait long to make official recommendations about issues like increased education on sexual assault.

Even the most thoughtful and intense debate about the complexity of these issues does nothing to create change without an active, public element.

This is why the task force should carry on its conversation publicly as well. The various sectors it represents can inform and drive the public debate -- if it's allowed to. The Campus Conversation website set up by the University could be adapted easily for this purpose.

The task force has a chance to play an influential role in bringing about reform, and it should take advantage of this opportunity. It should speak as a unified whole, challenging the University to make holistic protection for all students its top priority.




http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/05/5194142cd733b