Global raging
A massive string of serious protests have been sweeping dozens of countries around the world for the last month. Targets range from animal cruelty to government corruption, and tactics range from civil disobedience to self-immolation. If there's one thing we numerous, diverse world citizens can agree on, it's that we're pissed.
Waterlog flume
Chapel Hill and Carrboro briefly united to become one big water park Sunday, replete with extensive car-pools, wading areas and a tide pool at University Mall, not to mention a couple of downed trees to keep things interesting. Charging admission would've been smart, too -- we've got water damage like a sickly Bulbasaur.
Independent!
Today we wave little pieces of fabric and light things on fire to commemorate the day our stubborn, complicated country with a troubled past declared itself independent from its brutish, dirty uncle of a tyrannical monarch. We're still trying 237 years later to live up to the poetry our angsty teen self came up with, but progress is progress.
NC under the table
Legislators Tuesday tacked a set of comprehensive restrictions on abortion onto a bill orginally meant to ban consideration of foreign laws in state courts. No one will think to vote against it -- because you know how dangerous foreign laws are in America, right? Looks like our xenophobia and our sexism are breeding one ugly baby.
Elderly Chinese seeking friends
Sending your kids to keep your grandparents company is a time-honored tradition, but what happens when there's no one left even remotely interested in spending time with your elders?
A new law in China aims to fix this forever by forcing adults to spend time with their parents -- lonely old people a real, nationwide concern. The law promises fines or even jail time for Chinese people who fail to visit their parents "often," but many say it's vague and not enforceable. You just can't force people to love and care for their elders.
But maybe they could hire people to do it for them? They could even build resorts where the old people could all live together and just be each other's friends! Why haven't we thought of that? Oh, right.
NOTED.
An Arizona woman crossing the border was found with an entire pound of meth hidden in her pelvis last week.
My first question whenever anyone gets anything surgically removed is, "How on earth did it get there in the first place?" But I can honestly say I have zero interest in hearing the mechanics of this situation.
QUOTED.
"Full-figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic -- you embody our perfect spokesperson."
--Porn company PureMature.com offered disgraced chef Paula Deen a six-figure endorsement deal -- no nudity. Only in porn are your beliefs truly irrelevant -- as long as you've got Deen's chops.
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