Golden Corral
A media hatestorm's been brewing since a brave patriot released a video last week of the way his Golden Corral deals with inspections -- by hiding all the raw meat out by the dumpster, of course. I'd be outraged, but honestly I can't be shocked anymore. I give up, dirty buffet place, I'll take all the human depravity and cold pizza you've got.
NC in decline
The New York Times published an editorial Tuesday on "The Decline of North Carolina," which is sad because it makes us sound like a dying relative or a destabilized foreign nation -- which we most decidedly are not, if our legislators have a say in it. We may be morally and socially regressive, but WE'RE AMERICAN GOSHDARNIT.
Gitmo respect?
In recognition of Ramadan, staff at Guantanamo Bay are starting to allow a few detainees to start seeing and socializing with some fellow subhuman prisoners again. Maybe the camaraderie helps make everything else bearable? My only other options for the happy thumb were Egyptian coup or plane crash, leave me alone please.
Lone Ranger racism
The Lone Ranger hit theaters and flopped like a dead buffalo this weekend, as expected. I can't speak for all of America, but the weekend after the Fourth is not when I want to be reminded of our nation's history of violence and colonial oppression -- especially when it's Johnny Depp dressed as a Comanche doing the reminding.
Pain makes for long memories
Talk about a crazy bachelor party -- nothing gives you one last sweet taste of singledom before marriage like being violently kidnapped. Oh wait, no, that's blood you taste.
For some reason a British groom's buddies decided ambushing and dragging their friend out of his car and away from his screaming fiancee was conducive to wonderful congenial memories for the future.
The jokers put him in a jumpsuit, tied him up and threw him in the car for more than 100 miles before letting him know he wasn't actually about to die, undergo torture or be affixed to some sort of human centipede.
The trauma gave him shingles and a doctor's order to stay awy from his new wife for a month, but boys will be boys, am I right?
NOTED.
President Barack Obama told a kid journalist at a state dinner that his favorite food is broccoli.
It could just be a harmless lie, but it's much more: He's teaching this kid a valuable lesson about misinformation and the modern media. You've got to be tough to not get grilled. Like vegetables. Mmm.
QUOTED.
"My dad is 63 years old, he was devastated."
--A Canadian woman went with her Lego-fanatic father to visit Legoland, but they were turned away as they didn't have a child with them. Now I know creepy wandering old men is a concern, but whatever happened to the magic, huh?
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