Harold Camping, 90-year-old radio broadcaster and predictor of the apocalypse, recently made another announcement on his radio show declaring that the rapture of our souls from our bodily vessels and subsequent catastrophic end of times will occur on December 21, 2012.
Camping appeared totally shocked when informed that his most recent prediction happens to be identical to the date supposedly predicted by the ancient Mayan calendar.
Veteran of at least two apocalyptic predictions already, Camping has seemed out-of-sorts ever since his botched attempt at predicting Jesus' second coming this last May.
"He used to put so much joy and enthusiasm into telling people the world was ending," said a close friend of Camping who wished to remain anonymous. "He was really passionate about making people panic. Now he barely ever picks up his annotated copy of the book of Job. Just once I want to see him write down every letter again and start putting words together Scrabble-style," she said wistfully, raising her voice a little. "It just pains me to see his slide-rule and abacus go unused for so long."
Out-of-sorts or not, Camping has refused to accept that he might have just stolen this prediction from the Mayans.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Camping said. "I've reevaluated my figures from May and they all point to 2012!" When pressed about the figures, Camping quickly explained that he had forgotten to count the 'P's in the book of Malachi. "P's are a symbol for the ephemeral power of the trinity in the Bible, so you can see how that might've thrown off my calculations," Camping stammered. "Also, in Ancient Israel they--uh--counted differently, so the days of the week--oh just screw it," Camping sighed dejectedly.
"I don't even know what I'm doing now. I'm not even sure if telling people the world is ending is the right to do," said Camping in a rare moment of weakness and sincerity. "My heart just isn't in it anymore."
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