After a horribly long, sweaty and mutually painful ordeal, America finally pulled out of the Middle East, spilling white-hot democracy all over the tired and bruised Fertile Crescent.
America looked pleased with itself, leaning back and folding its arms triumphantly as it came all over the aching and weak region that it had pinned down. Liberally covered with a gooey veneer of sticky capitalism and shame, the diverse group of nations was thoroughly exhausted and "didn't feel very comfortable with itself anymore." It only added insult to horrible, horrible injury when Iraq was blinded by a stray shot of salty freedom.
The ordeal began years ago when America awkwardly yet brutally forced itself on the region, much like the creepy yet surprisingly stronger older man who refills your oil when your car breaks down on the side of the road and then ties you up in the back of his truck so he can take advantage of you.
The assault continued for years as America continued to slam the unprepared territory with its stiff rod of unrelenting justice.
While the region was said to be "dressed provocatively," "far from innocent," and "totally asking for it," many observers agreed that the assault was completely undeserved.
Once it had finished ejecting its payload all over the sore and helpless Middle East, America wiped itself off and turned to leave. Throwing one last smug grin towards the huddled mass of emotionally fragile Arabic nations, America roughly told the humiliated and defeated region to clean itself up.
No comments:
Post a Comment