IRS targets Tea Party
Apparently the IRS only moved to spying on Facebook walls when they got tired of scrutinizing random conservative organizations -- the auditors' evil truly knows no bounds. Talk about an upset in the hierarchy of villainy -- it's going to be one interesting season for evil. Adjust your sinister brackets accordingly.
Bible bashing
A 57-year-old woman in Kings Mountain, N.C. reportedly beat another woman with a Bible. It was a grievous bout of battling with the Good Book, but at least she didn't think to whip out the Bible Belt. And wait, she wasn't being cruel, she was just touting tradition! But seriously though, the other lady was hurt pretty bad.
Gatsby was great
The film remake of F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic scored big at the box office this weekend, meaning two things: Fitzgerald's revealingly sultry portrait of the American '20s is truly a masterwork, and Leonardo DiCaprio has completed his domination of my childhood. All is contaminated; I think he might be in my head; none of it was real.
A farewell to Wiggins
So we lost one of the most sought-after high school recruits in years, so what? It's nothing we can't come back from. And really, it's all just hype. We're not a school to go for stuff just because it's popular, and we've never been much for mainstream fads like good forwards or making foul shots. Ah screw it I'm going to go drink.
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