More than a month after the election, America collectively looked back over the events of the political race and election and said, "Wait, who's that white guy with the shit-eating grin and the dyed hair who looks like he wants to sell my family?"
Apparently suffering from some kind of self-imposed cultural amnesia, America was unable to identify the courteous automaton who had inexplicably found his way onto the political stage.
"It's like watching one of those really surreal movies where everything is twisted but people act like it's totally normal," America said, rubbing its eyes in disbelief. "How did he get up there? Why don't I remember him?" America asked.
"Does he even have pupils? I can't tell. I think he wants to cry though," said America, watching old debate footage like it was one of those home movies from before you remember where you suddenly have a creepy Uncle Ted for a few scenes.
"Is this a joke? It doesn't even look like he wants to be there," America said. "Where the hell was I when this happened?"
Visibly distressed, America got up to call a couple of allies and corroborate the unreal events of the last year. The nation went silent as the United Kingdom gave its account of the election.
Like the obliviously hungover man told of the incredible series of events from the night before, America's face faded first from bemused disbelief to shock, and then finally through shame and remorse to a quiet acceptance.
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