Woman Finds Image of Dawkins on Naan (Bounce Magazine Vol. 12 Issue 4 April 2012)

Indian woman Ankita Pillai, 37, was shocked to discover a detailed imprint of Richard Dawkins’ face in her flatbread at a meal with her extended family on a night in late February. Inspired by this incredibly fortuitous random happenstance, Pillai immediately devoted her life to spreading Dawkins’ teachings to all who would deign to listen.

Dawkins, firm proponent of evolutionary biology and outspoken atheist, was immediately recognizable in the pattern of grains in Pillai’s naan by all who were even remotely familiar with his face.  Only adding to the excitement, this was the first ever reported instance of the passionate rationalist skeptic appearing on any kind of carbohydrate.

Pillai immediately wrapped up the leavened flat bread to preserve it and prepared to leave her tiny town of Sirkhazi for good.  Before setting out on her prophetic scientific pilgrimage, however, she gave a stirring sermon on the millions of brilliant genetic processes that created the sacred facial imprint.

She said that all life evolves by the differential survival of replicating entities, and then proceeded to pontificate on the glories of the endless generational genetic replication that led to this graven image of Richard Dawkins, fervent opponent of intelligent design and militant empiricist.

Then, forsaking food or proper transport, Pillai began her journey on foot. With plans to travel around India, spreading this fervor for realism and natural selection throughout the land, she necessarily put aside the material trappings and family binds that held her to home. Ascetically leaving the needs of her body as an afterthought, she taught in village after village, subsisting on the food and shelter provided for her by those who wished to hear her speak.

After gathering a following of people from all around South India with her message of evidence-based knowledge as a weapon against the potential evil of faith, Pillai and her followers built a shrine to rationalism outside of the city of Bangalore. Here they placed the moldy naan bearing Dawkin’s image, wrapping it in saran wrap in order to preserve the monument to scientific reason for future generations.